Sometimes Disappointment Happens

Oh disappointment, welcome back to my life for a bit. It's been a while since I've seen your face around me, not so sure I wanted to see you. Guess you wanted to remind me that disappoinments do happen still and I'm not special enough to bypass it. Don't get me wrong, I've experienced minor versions of you earlier but I had not expected you to drop such a one fat at my door. I used to live by the phrase that "if you don't set expectations for anything or anyone, then you'll never be disappointed". And then my life turned around and I had something to expect and I wanted things, feelings, adventures. I guess I could never be hurt if I didn't have anything to expect or hope for; certainly it's harder and it hurts more than you expect when something you expected is not happening like you imagined, mainly because well, you didn't expect the unexpected. My mind went to a happy place and failed to see the other factors that could jar my fantasy. Life throws curveballs at you. I just wish sometimes that I didn't feel emotions so much deeply and had more control over it. Emotions truly wash over me at times, and I wish I had a better way of dealing with them besides through this or a journal. My mind and my thoughts think faster than I can write and my typing keeps up better. But emotions are meant to be felt otherwise we won't have them and I feel them real enough. And through all this, despite it all, I can still understand the other side of the story, why the disappointment happened. It helps knowing and I wish it could make things easier so I could be the bigger person and just suck it up and not feel as I do. Always be the bigger person. The best, and the most I can do now, is simply be grateful of the time I still have and be sure it is an enjoyable time. I will not let other factors disturb my happiness. I need this time, I really do. Think of it this way Denise.....this is just another small disturbance in your life.

It's not about the destination, it's about the journey. Everything happens for a reason and you make what you want out of it because of it.